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Fair Fighting Rules

Arguments and disagreements are a normal part of any relationship. It’s how a couple argues that’s most important. When arguments grow out of control, they become counterproductive, hurtful, and emotionally charged.

Fair Fighting Rules help couples discuss issues tactfully, without hurting the other person’s feelings or damaging the relationship. They tell us what’s OK, and what’s crossing the line, in an argument. In this video, Woody Schuldt, LMHC, discusses 9 fair fighting rules to help couples argue safely. These rules include expressing feelings with words, no stonewalling, discussing one issue at a time, and more.

Pair this video with the Fair Fighting Rules worksheet. Present the rules in session with couples, and discuss which ones would be beneficial in their relationship. Implementing all 9 rules at once might be overwhelming, so prioritize those that are most relevant.

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